January 28, 2022

Life philosophy


It is interesting how when young, we are often not aware of our talents. Of course not, only exposure to doing and trying different things makes us aware that we are good at something or that something comes easy for us. I believe everyone is born with multiple natural talents. Discovering them and developing them is our job in this life. 🙂

I was just having my regular fortnightly massage, which is my ‘me’ time. This time is so valuable for thinking through and reviewing recent happenings, reflecting on old memories, planning, dreaming. Yes, dreaming! I actually fell asleep today and was dreaming. I awoke to realize I was on the massage table and was quite surprised that I had fallen asleep. Galina and I had a laugh about it. It seems odd that people fall asleep while someone else is touching them. But Galina assured me that it happens from time to time. Any how, it is during this quiet, me, time that I reflect and develop my self-awareness. I critique how I may have handled people or a situation. And today I was thinking about how when I was younger I was just busy living and not always reflecting on how situations affected or changed my perspective about my life and myself.

Last night, Ray and I watched a film with Daniel Day Lewis called Phantom Thread. The heroine poisoned the hero to make him vulnerable so that she could care for him. It made me think of Michael and how he so tenderly cared for me when I had severe vertigo. He kissed me so tenderly, like at no other time in our relationship. It made me think that he needed to care for someone. That was what made him whole. So that was most likely why he did all the cooking and cleaning. Not because he was a control freak. It just made him look like a control freak. But actually, it was because he needed to care for his partner. I may have misunderstood his motives. I thought he was taking such good care of me to support my efforts to work full time and study accounting and database management. But it was much more than that. I am seeing the time we spent together in a slightly different light, with a different perspective. I am learning. I like that!

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